23 weeks and all is well

Tomorrow I will be 23 weeks pregnant, and as far as we can tell everything is still going well. I’ve been meaning to post for so long now its shameful. There are lots of reasons, but the biggest one is I’ve been insanely busy. I started working full time for the first time in over 7 years a few months ago. I was working at least 40 hours a week as a grad student, but it was completely on my own schedule. Being at the same place for 8+ hours a day all week has taken some adjusting. Then add to that volunteering with two organizations (one is our local infertility group- I’m serving as co-president at the moment), throwing a bridal shower for a good friend, visits from family, and tons of home repairs to turn our former junk-room into a future baby-room, and I’ve hardly had a free second¬† the last few months. And of course it doesn’t help that I can barely keep my eyes open past 8pm.

There’s so much I could and should say, since I haven’t written in 2 months or so, but overall things are very good. I’ve struggled to keep calm and trust this pregnancy, but weekly doppler-ing early on, and now pretty frequent kicking, are keeping me sane. In fact, I’m getting thoroughly kicked as I type now :). I’ve been so much less worried since I started feeling her moving. We had our anatomy scan at 18 weeks, and although it wasn’t really an exciting experience for me, the end result was good. No signs of a problem, and weight mostly on track. I went in to the scan expecting to find something wrong, and the ultrasound tech refused to give us any sign of what she was seeing throughout the process. The baby had her head buried deeply in my pelvis, and so the ultrasound tech couldn’t for the life of her get a good view of anything. She was getting frustrated, and the result was that she didn’t seem to be happy with what she was seeing. She never said anything about a problem, but I was reading way too much in to her attitude, and was sure things were not going well. There was no clear point when she told us everything was okay, I think she just assumed that we’d know that since she never told us there was a problem. All of this led to an extremely anti-climactic ultrasound where I wasn’t able to enjoy watching her move around and try to bond with her. Ultimately the OB did confirm that everything is fine, but by then I was already feeling pretty unsettled and it took a while before the good news sank in.

Then a few weeks later we hit the half-way point of the pregnancy (on my birthday, no less!), and tomorrow (or next week, depending on who you ask), we hit viability. I’m still completely in shock, and hardly beleive how lucky I am, but I’m mostly trusting that this process is going to result in a real live baby. We’re completely enjoying planning and setting up a nursery, and I have two showers being thrown for me in the next month. We have a pile of baby stuff building up, hand-me downs from family, and gifts showing up in the mail. It’s an awful lot to wrap my brain around, but I’m trying to enjoy every minute of it.

Although the baby herself seems to be doing great, I have had a few complications, most of which appear to be minor at this point. In addition to my peri-ovarian mass which is still growing, but very slowly (have I written about that before? we don’t know what it is, I’ll have to have surgery after I give birth to make sure it’s not cancer and likely have it removed, but in the meantime it seems not to be hurting anything), I have a giant fibroid on the outside of my uterus, and placenta previa. At the time of my 12 week scan, the fibroid was the size of the baby’s torso, and has since continued to grow. Since it’s on the outside of my uterus, they aren’t worried about it affecting the baby, but it’s causing all kinds of fun in the meantime. It’s pressing directly on my bladder, so I feel like I’m being kicked in the bladder basically all day long. I pee about 100 times a day (and plenty more at night), but nothing much comes out each time, almost as if my urethra is being blocked in some way. It’s uncomfortable, but not a huge problem as long as I’m near a bathroom all day. As for the placenta previa (basically, it means the placenta is located over my cervix), it could mean problems in the long run, but often they move on their own before giving birth. I was told not to worry about it, but in the meantime no tampons or sex.

This has been a relatively quick update, given how much I could talk about, but it’s almost my bed time and my eyes are getting droopy :). I’ve been thinking about you all constantly, and I still try to read as much as I can. I always read on my phone now though, and it’s awful trying to comment on it. For those of you who have had good news recently, just know I’m over here cheering and hoping for you.¬† And for those of you who haven’t been so lucky (yet), I’m still here supporting you, if silently.