Today’s drama

It seems like I have a mini-meltdown at least once a week now. Not a full blown snotty, curl up in a ball cry-fest, but an ugly, re-do the makeup kind of cry. Today’s mini-meltdown was brought to you by the Today Show. Anybody see the segment where they follow a couple doing IVF? They showed the egg retrieval and then filmed what they called ‘the first time the moment of conception has ever occurred on live tv’. Well, on today’s episode the couple received a call from the Doc’s office with the results. Let’s be realistic here though, she’d probably already tested at that point. Of course it was positive. I couldn’t help but think it would have been more realistic if it was negative. Is it fair to give the public audience the impression that infertility is so easily fixed by IVF? 

I was handling it all pretty well, up to the point when they showed the couple getting the pregnancy test result. Specifically, it was the look on husband’s face as he heard the result. I won’t be able to do it justice, but it was a look of pure joy and relief. I know that look. It was the same look my husband had the first time we heard a heartbeat in an ultrasound. Tears were welling in his eyes as he kissed me on the forehead, so relieved and overwhelmed with happiness. It’s the only time I remember seeing his emotions that raw. That look was stolen, and I haven’t seen it since. In fact, in a lot of ways I feel like I’ve stolen that look from him. I want so badly for that to be him. He deserves it, and if it weren’t for me….well don’t get me started on where he’d be if it weren’t for me.

I don’t know the story of the couple from the today show, which makes it harder for me to feel empathetic towards them. I’m sure they had a rough time and deserve their positive. But the look on that husbands face fills me with so much jealousy and guilt. Will we ever have that look again?



8 thoughts on “Today’s drama

  1. You know, I used to get up in the morning for the Today show, but now that Matt Lauer the Anne whats-r-name are gone–I can’t stand the newbies and I only occassionally tune in for Kathy Lee & Hoda. The Today show has disappointed us both (me + you), and for that they suck. XO

  2. Sigh. I know that look of pure joy. And I know the other look of being told four weeks later that the little heartbeat had stopped. I feel just like you, never knowing whether we’ll see that look again. It’s heartbreaking feeling like we’re letting them down like this. I wish we weren’t in this position. It’s so so sad. Mini meltdown well deserved there hun. I would’ve been sitting right there redoing my makeup with you xx

  3. The New York Times has a blog called Motherlode, and a recent column called “Fertility Diary” chronicles a woman undergoing her first round of IVF. You guessed it — she got pregnant right out of the gate. Like you, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was presenting an unrealistic picture of the process.

    • It’s so true. The more I think about it, the more it bugs me. People who have no experience with infertility already have so many misunderstandings about it, what they need is to see how hard it is when it DOESN’T work, not to confirm that its just a simple fixable problem.

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